Harry Maguire and other oversung Premier League ‘heroes’

We’ve had the Premier League’s unsung heroes to make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy, so now of course it’s time to put the boot right in. Let’s give each club’s oversung villain a right good kicking.

Couple of things to get out of the way first. Is oversung the opposite of unsung or indeed even a word? No, it is not. Sorry about that. Secondly, saying these players are oversung (sorry again) in no way equates to saying they are sh*t. It can do, in some cases. But it definitely doesn’t automatically mean that. Okay? Good. Let’s crack on.

Arsenal: Matteo Guendouzi
Like several players on this list, not in any way a bad footballer (repeat: not calling him sh*t, can’t stress that enough) but one whose reputation seems out of whack. Again typically of others on this list – notably in the equally miserable other half of north London – this is perhaps more to do with the wider failings of club than player. Guendouzi’s all right, isn’t he? But he gets an awful lot of praise for “running around” and “caring”, which all seems like it should be way beneath Arsenal. That’s not even Spursy, that’s full West Ham.

Recent events have seen the overdue commencement of what we’re grandly calling The Guendouzi Backlash, but while Arsenal remain the home of absolute piss-taking wastrels who aren’t even prepared to suffer serious sunburn for the cause, Guendouzi’s star will continue to rise, with the inevitable backlash to the backlash only amplifying the noise.

Aston Villa: Tyrone Mings
The heart of the Premier League’s leakiest defence yet apparently also the man to solve Arsenal’s defensive woes. This one probably also says more about Arsenal than it does about the player. The rest won’t be about Arsenal, I promise.

Bournemouth: David Brooks
There is no easier route to oversungness than to be very, very good and then to be out injured for an extended period of time during which your team is conspicuously and alarmingly shite. Brooks had absolutely nailed it before the Covid came along, messing everything up and now forcing him to actually play in a team that remains, despite the talisman’s return, bobbins.

Brighton: N/A
No Brighton player could ever be oversung. The very idea is ludicrous.

Burnley: James Tarkowski
Tricky one given that Burnley’s whole schtick is being unsung and underrated and underestimated and then suddenly bloody hell would you look at that they’ve as many points as Spurs. Dwight McNeil has become a player that pundits like to focus on but given his numbers in a team on the fringes of European qualification he’s probably still only adequately sung at best. Ben Mee is also correctly sung for calling out the WLM plane for the c***’s trick that it was. So Tarkowski it is then because the one part of Burnley’s football that does get praised is their defending and there’s a tendency to oversing all English centre-backs because once upon a time we genuinely had daft numbers…